The Rambling, Unrelated Intro

I like talking about metaphor. Because our lives are really just layers of stories, and colors and quirks.

Physicists like to talk about quarks. I’m sure at some level, they are very interesting.

But we should really talk more about quirks.

Not today.

Today, we’re talking about God’s house.

I bought a book about thetahealing from Alibris. I love Alibris. They have every book you want and they send them to your house.

I digress. I’ve digressed twice so far.

God’s House

So God’s House. This book- Theta Healing- talks about a meditative process that brings your conciousness up to God. I think, if I did it the way the book suggested, I would have had an enlightening experience with rainbows and stars and euphoria.

(Love euphoria, by the way. Love it).

However, I was in bed at the time. I was cozy. I wasn’t exactly focused.

So, I thought I’d just skip all the steps about bringing energy up through the earth via my chakras. I thought I’d just go up and look around…

So I imagined myself above my head and said, “God?”

and God said, “Hi there.”

So I thought, “Hey, I’m at God’s house.”

And I looked around. But I didn’t really look around, because I wasn’t in God’s house. I was in my imagination. And in my imagination, God’s house looks like Lenny Kravitz’s place.  It was all white shag carpet, modern,  with plenty of clear surfaces to lay down on while you play your guitar.

I heard God chuckle. God said, “That’s not my house. My house looks like this.”

And he showed me a big house, with high ceilings and lots of beautiful woodwork. And by big, I don’t mean God big. I mean people big. Like maybe Edith Wharton had a house like this.

And then I looked out the window and he said, “That’s the sea of Galilee. That’s my favorite.”

And I said, “Oh, that’s nice.”

And God said, “Yes.”

And then I noticed God’s couch by the window and it was faded. It was blue duck canvas, and it had seen better days.  But it was perfect. It was the perfect couch for looking out the window at the sea of Galilee. It looked like the memories of good times.

Why I was There

And then I said, “What should I do?”

Because, I realized, that most people stopping by God’s house have a reason. They aren’t just in the neighborhood. That’s sad. Maybe.

I said, “I think I worry on a cellular level. I teach about not worrying, but I think this is just ingrained.”

And God said, “You didn’t use to be this way. You used to be exceptionally enthusiastic.”

And I said, “I was three.”

and God said, “Yes. That’s right.”

And I said, “So can you take away my worrying?”

And then God had to go all Jesus on me.

You know, in the Bible, when someone asks Jesus a straight question, and Jesus is a little bit cryptic, and you’re reading it and thinking, “Jesus Christ, if there was ever a time to just make everything clear, it would be now.”

Yeah, here’s what God said.

God said,

“Clean your house.”

I  said, “What?”

God said. “Clean your house because you are coming home to it.”

So, after I write this post and talk to a few animal clients and then twitter, I am going to clean my house. I am going to clean every nook and cranny. I am even going to clean my laundry room, which is where all unwanted things in my house drift to.  And then we’ll see how I feel.

I know What You’re Thinking

Now, I know what you’re thinking (because I’m psychic). You are thinking, “Did she really talk to God? Does God really have a house? Does God’s house look like that to everybody? Isn’t God Unknowable? What does this have to do with physics? What does her house look like? ”

Here are my answers:

1. Really talk to God: Yes. and God answers me back. And God answers you too.

2. I don’t know if God really has a house.

3. Would God’s house look that way to everybody? I think God showed me that house because it was comforting, and God wants us to be comforted.

In fact, if you take nothing away from this long ramble, know this: if you saw God’s house and you were only comforted by scrimshaw (wierdo), there’d be engraved whale teeth everywhere.

But, maybe he calls it his house because he wants me to think he has really good taste (which coincidentally, matches mine).

4. Totally, completely unknowable. Because God is infinity. In fact, even giving him a gender and calling him a name and putting him in a house, all that is simply because my brain is too small to comprehend the vastness.

5. Physics. You know how I talk about past lives? That’s a bit of a misnomer.  Scientists have figured out that there really is no such thing as time.  And once we all truly believe that, the universe will shrink up into a tiny black knot.  On some levels, we’re all experiencing every moment our soul has ever had at once.  But to comprehend that, to truly live with that fact  would make our bodies explode. So, we get it in little doses that our frailness can handle.

6. What does Bridget’s house look like…If you ate off my floor right now, you’d die.

So I am really there. God and I are really having a conversation, and all of this is a tiny piece of a vast puzzle, so vast that we can’t comprehend it.

I am going to go clean my house. Because God said I had to.