Say you’re Galileo, and you’ve been excommunicated by the Catholic church, and branded a Heretic (your mom had a really hard time with that one, huh? I know).

And to make matters worse, you’ve died and been buried, and then somebody dug you up and took a few of your fingers and your tooth.

So, that sucks, Galileo.  That is really a bummer, especially for just agreeing with that Copernicus guy, who is really kind of a self-absorbed jerk.

Where’s the Justice?

Where’s the Justice, Galileo? I mean, especially after you invented the telescope.

Here’s what you do, buddy.

You haunt people. For years. You especially haunt museum curators.  And anonymous people that might have your fingers in a jar.

You use your intuition to ask, “Who’s descendant is going to sell my fingers at auction?”

Then you follow them around, making them speculate on the meaning of life.  Also, get folk duos to sing about you and make videos about reincarnation.

Then, when your fingers are found, and sold to a guy that donates them to a museum, make sure that your middle finger looks extra creepy by itself in that old jar.

Galileo's Finger, courtesy of the AP

Hey, Galileo- You’re welcome. I’m here for you.  And thanks for all your hard work.