Comments on: How Do I Experience My Feelings without Harming my Loved Ones

By: Beverly

Beverly — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 12:21:42 +0000

Thank you! Well written and concise. I’m looking for straightforward language to share with teens who are struggling but may have comprehension issues.
I am also struggling through something recently and find that I’m dealing with feeling/being sad and this is a good piece of writing for my own child to read as a reminder that sometimes I experience things and she shouldn’t take those things on herself. It’s okay for me to be sad and struggling and for her to be light and happy.
Well done.

By: keith_douglas

keith_douglas — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 22:37:35 +0000

As someone who spent thousands on anger management, I say THANK YOU. This single treatise is worth thousands. I think I will reread it daily for the next month. Please keep sharing.

By: Susan

Susan — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 17:37:10 +0000

Thanks for sharing Bridget, that was awesome. With some people I have a fairly low threshold, I’m empathic so that ability is enhanced in me anyway! I’ve learned to create healthy energetic boundaries which help me deal with people without taking on their stuff. However, my mother and I have a backwards relationship…I tend to parent her, which I’ve been trying to change with little success for about 10 years. She takes every statement personally so it’s a challenge. I loved your suggestions about how to in a nice way let people know how you feel without flinging your stuff at them. I have a friend who I can call and who can call me, and say, “Can I vent? Will you tell me if I’m crazy or not?!?” and it’s one of the most valuable things I can do when I’m wound up emotionally.

BTW…can I have the car salesman’s info…that might come in handy! LOL…kidding, well sorta.
Keep writing!
Blessings,
Susan

By: woods

woods — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 20:46:33 +0000

I love this story!

Thanks, Bridget

By: Bridget

Bridget — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:33:27 +0000

jeanne- It can be very difficult to watch our friends in dark places. But holding that space for them is an act of courage and comfort and hope, and it is enough, I agree.

By: whollyjeanne

whollyjeanne — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:14:56 +0000

i have found that nothing beats a well-timed hug and plain ole’ listening. bearing witness just can’t be beat. i was just talking to my son about this very thing. how two women i love are immersed in a dark place right now, and all i can do it bear witness and hold the space for them. good post, by the way.

By: Emily

Emily — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:31:23 +0000

Oh, yes, this is enlightening. The threshold. So…just wow! Yes! OK. Must noodle on this for a while. I never had thought of it this way. My husband gets angry at me when he is upset and I just can listen and listen. Accuses me of being unfeeling. But I am not unfeeling. I can just take a lot from others without being affected…not that I’m not affected at all. Just, I don’t dissolve into a puddle of goo. And let’s face it, my friends have needed me to be that rock for them. So no wonder. Wow. High threshold for me. Makes sense. Ah, and the taking responsibility for the feeling. Hmmm. I wish the husband weren’t so averse to woo-woo. It makes him shut down. I wish I could print this out and say Jimmy Page wrote it or something…
Oh, and can I have the name of that mechanic? (Wink.)

By: Bridget

Bridget — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:06:28 +0000

Marion-
This is so very true. Often, unresolved emotional pain causes resonance. Resonance can be very painful and not useful.
A sensitive person surrounded by people who are emotionally unhappy, is an unhappy person, without any reason to be.

By: Marian

Marian — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:02:09 +0000

Re: 7 & 8 I think that feeling your feelings and owning your own emotions is a fabulous place to start for woo-woo stuff. I for example am very clairsentient, and it is a real study for me to discern where things are coming from, to know and own what is mine, and to be aware of other people having feelings but not get swept up in them or take them on. I also think that when you have unresolved emotional pain, there is a tendency to resonate with that pain in others, so being conscious of and addressing your own stuff is also a way of protecting yourself. There is a difference between being witness, and getting dragged down in all the heavy stuff in the world — of which there is plenty1

By: Bridget

Bridget — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:59:50 +0000

Ronna-
I agree. It is a balance. If you don’t show the difficult emotions in front of your kids, they might grow up with the idea that difficult emotions don’t happen to everyone, or worse, that their parents always had it together, so what’s wrong with them that they don’t?

They have to see us as real people.

A burden is not always a bad thing.

I think I’ll be visiting this over and over and over again.