This is a many-part series about How to Safely Handle Emotions.

There’s a look I see in women’s faces, sometimes in men too. It’s the face of control.  Perhaps it’s the tension in the jaw. There is something about the set of the cheekbones.

When I see this face, I see someone who is very good at keeping it together.

So Good at Control

We are very good at controlling our emotions.  Until we’re not.

We are very good at hiding our anger, frustration, angst, anxiety.  It’s like putting 10 lbs. of misery in a 5 lb. sack. It’s going to seep out somewhere.

It causes us to snap at our kids.  It causes us to drink too much.  Or overeat.  Or compulsively exercise.

It causes us to shut down.

Look at your typical kid. When she is upset, she lets it out.

We don’t. Grown-ups don’t let it out.

Until we do.

And it’s scary.

There are many many many things that we can do to make our world calm and peaceful. You’ll find posts all through this blog about that.

What Do We Do with our Anger?

But what do we do with our anger?   What do we do with the rage that has built up in us?  How do we safely express  our ugly emotions in ways that don’t harm others?

The first step is to identify the emotion that we are feeling.

Observe the Emotion

Simply, this is answering What Do I Feel?  A close look at our feelings is like paying attention to bite of pie.  What are you tasting? Really?

What are the tones of the emotion that you’re feeling?

Here are a few words to get you started:

Angry

Pissed

Resigned

Sad

Furious

Anxious

Angsty

Bummed

Tired

Jangly

Testy

Out-of-Sorts

Happy

Content

Blissed-Out

Confused

Wound Up

Airy

Spacey

Loved

Grateful

Set a timer.

Have it go off every hour for a day.  Take your emotional temperature. Don’t ask why you feel what you feel.  Don’t feel like you need to fix it.  Just Feel It.

Next: Feelings are Not Pizza Toppings

Share- If you Want- How you’re feeling?

(photo courtesy of  Nyki M)