We once spent most of a day replacing key words in famous poems with the word “taco”.

This flies completely the face of the fact that she is a terrific shiatsu practitioner and also a brilliant writer.  I asked if she’d write about being present in the body, and she gave us this gem:

Anywhere But Here

Yeah, I’m a bodyworker. Shiatsu to be exact. So, theoretically I should know a thing or two about being present in the body.

But I’m learning all the time what this really means.

For example, I recently taught a class to couples on Valentine’s Day on how to give each other a basic whole body shiatsu treatment. Seemed straighforward enough, until I started contemplating the all different types of touch there are and the multitide of intentions behind them.

And how I learned in shiatsu school the seemingly obvious fact that we develop our first relationship with touch while being in the womb, surrounded by the constant pressure of amniotic fluid. I was taught that bodywork can be reminiscent of this primal touch, and how intrinsically it’s tied in with the experience of having our needs met.

Not to mention that our first experiences as newborns and being physically handled – gingerly, confidently, lovingly, resentfully, sparsely – determines not only how we relate to touch, but how we relate to others, and how we accept our OWN bodies.

Some informal studying of the chakra system has also shown me that the development of our first and second chakras occurs from the womb to two years of age. Our sense of groundedness, safety, security, self-worthiness and capacity for self-nurturance are formed during this time.

Depending on how we are treated – how our bodies are treated – this will determine how safe we feel in our own skin.

Unfortunately for many of us, our early childhood experiences can be likened to a war, or at least a battle of wills, between well-meaning adults and tiny vulnerable beings with needs.

And too many of us, as a result, found greater safety in our minds than in our bodies.

From arbitrary feeding schedules, to being left to cry ourselves to sleep, to substituting machinery for loving arms, to expressions of disgust toward our bodily functions, and even, tragically, to outright phsycial abuse, we learn that our own feelings and bodily sensations are not to be trusted, instead retreating into the comfort of imagination and logic.

If our own parents couldn’t love and respect our physical beings, then surely there must be something wrong with them.

The War Wages On

The war wages on throughout childhood: “Sit still. Stand up straight. Don’t touch yourself. Stop crying. You don’t mean that! Eat this. Don’t eat that. You’re eating what? Stop crying. Suck it up. Where are you? Daydreaming again? PAY ATTENTION!!”

Even into adulthood: “You’re supposed to look/feel/think like this. You’re too emotional. Your pain is all in your head. How can you think your illness is emotionally related? You’re not qualified! Here take this pill….”

Okay, rant over.

But the point is, the dissection of mind and heart and soul from body begins very early on. Being fully present with deep connection to sensations of feelings moving through us becomes too much to bear, too deeply asociated with discomfort, disapproval, disgust and fear.

Bridget wrote a lovely post on my blog about starting with self-touch as a simple affirmation of self-approval, self-acceptace and self-love.

Our bodies really ARE amazing! They house us, they carry our souls around. They communicate so beautifully with other bodies in ways that our minds never could. They take on all of our emotional garbage until we screw up the courage to process it, or until they simply cannot take anymore. They speak to us continuously about what they need.

And they never EVER lie to us.

Coming Home

It can be terrifying to move back in and listen to the stories. But it’s where we belong. To inhabit only the attic while the rest of the house lays in vacant silence is to live half a life.

It’s time to come home. Loving touch is a good place to start.

Gina Loree Marks is a shiatsu practitioner in Chester County, Pennsylvania. Having started her own parenting career with a copy of Jean Liedloff’s, “The Continuum Concept” in hand, she’s had 20 years to develop some strong ideas about the necessity of continuous loving touch in every human’s life. Which is why she makes a point of hugging everyone when appropriate.

She can be found at http://EmbodyGrace.com, and on twitter: @gloreebe88.

(Nude Painting courtesy of Harold Olson, via creative commons).

The 3 keys to mind-body-spirit integration are presence, contemplation and attunement.

How do we find time for this?

Seriously?  We are very busy people.   We are too busy to list all the ways we are busy!

The trick to mind/body/spirit integration is to find ways to fit in into your day.

Practicing Presence Every Day

Presence is an easy thing to practice when you’re cleaning your house or driving.  You just start small.

I like to practice presence when I dust, especially if I am dusting something with detail, like the keys of my piano.  There is presence and wisdom in feeling the keys, and watching the way the dust gets caught in the light.  When you are present to your cleaning, you may find it calming.

The more you do presence, the more you’ll crave it.  The more you crave it, the more you do it.  It’s a lovely thing to get wrapped up in.

Practicing Contemplation Every Day

I must say, the thing that has increased my peace and happiness more than anything is the act of contemplation.  I think I get this from my mom, who is a natural at contemplation, and who has always found time to sit and ponder.

The trick to contemplation is creating a space and planning ahead.  I have 3 kids, 3 dogs and 3 cats, and a partner.  Our house is less than 2000 square feet.  I understand, deeply, the lack of space and alone time.

When I get up early to sit zazen, to clear my mind and then to contemplate my day,  I have a quilt and corner in the living room that is just for me.  The pit bull takes my spot in bed.  The big black dog comes out and sits with me.  The cats go outside.   The corner is empty. The quilt goes down.  I sit for only 10-15 minutes. I breathe quietly and fully, clear my mind and think.

This morning, my contemplation was about mourning. I miss my horse. I’m reading “The Year of Magical Thinking” by Joan Didion.  She talks about the un-rational thinking that comes with grief.  I know that my horse is not in this world anymore.  Yet, every day, I think, “Oh, I should go visit Ed.” and then I remember that he’s gone, and I feel a strange combination of relief and longing.  So, today, I sat and contemplated the feelings I have around Ed’s passing. And after thinking through things, I felt peace, warmth, a seated sense of knowing.

It can be helpful to think ahead of what you want to contemplate. Or you can just sit there and see what comes.

10-15 minutes. Plan ahead. Make a space.  Be there.

Making Time for Attunement

Remember the list of attunement activities?  Knitting, swimming, exercise, dancing?  What kind of sad lives are we living if we can’t carve out 15 minutes to dance?  Seriously? I don’t even know how to respond to this one.

I especially don’t know how to respond when people say, “Oh I don’t have time for yoga. Did you see the latest episode of Lost?”

They don’t need to watch the latest episode of lost, because if they aren’t integrating their mind, body and spirit, they’re living it.

You don’t have to do the things that take lots of time. I can’t go swimming in under two hours, so the days that I can’t swim, I dance. I knit. I bring my knitting with me, and take a few minutes while I’m waiting for my kid to finish his piano lessons or get out of school.

Be on the Lookout

Be on the lookout for times to practice presence, contemplation and attunement.  It doesn’t take a lot of time, and it can make a huge difference in the quality of your life.

Yesterday, I introduced an idea that may be hard to wrap our heads around. It’s the idea that we are often responding to beliefs in our subconscious that cause us to do things that make us physically unhealthy.

Whether these beliefs are ancestral knowledge or responses to past life experiences or responses to childhood trauma, they can come into the here and now and gum up the works.

Good News

You can make these beliefs conscious, and then you can stop doing them.

How?

It’s Peace in 3 Acts: Presence, Contemplation, Attunement

There are three things that you do, and you don’t do them together.  You do do them every day. They support one another.

The first one is called Presence.

Becoming present is living in the here and now. Kids do it.  Animals do it. You can do it too.  It means bringing your total attention to whatever you are doing.  If you are washing dishes, you are washing dishes.  If you are driving the care, you are driving the car.  Everything you do is imbued with your presence.

What happens, energetically, when you are present?

I must use an analogy.  From the movies. Bear with me.

Imagine that your body and mind are in one car, and your spirit is following in another car.  When you are not present, it’s like you are in a busy city.  Your brain is multi-tasking, flipping from topic to topic to topic and your spirit is trying to keep up, trying to keep track of you, trying to figure out where to apply its support.   Your spirit may lose sight of you from time to time.  This disconnect causes anxiety.

Okay, now imagine you are present, focusing on one specific thing.  It’s like you are on a country road.  Your spirit can follow you more easily. It knows what you are about. It can apply spiritual support as needed.

(What is spiritual support? It’s energy.  It’s fluidity. It’s ease.  It’s context.  When all your pistons are firing and things feel easy, you’re spiritually supported.)

The second one is called Contemplation.

Also known as navel gazing. Also known as noodling.  This is when you carve out time in your busy life to do nothing but let your mind wander.  You can think about whatever you want, but you do it in a quiet way.  This is the time when your spirit and mind connect the dots.

You know those old stories and beliefs that you carry around. The ones that aren’t always so helpful? Contemplation is a time to turn over the dirt, aerate your soul soil, let those beliefs out,  and take a good look at them.  And if they aren’t useful, it’s time to love them and release them.

Yesterday, we talked about how I have moments where it feels like I’m channeling my grandmother and her miserly dime-squeezing ways.  In contemplation, I’ve brought her up, watched her frantically figure out her gas milage, and then whisked her back to her starving youth and offered her an oatmeal cookie.  I’ve imagined her face relaxing.

That’s loving the story and letting it go.  That can only be done in contemplation.

When I am present, and I find myself reacting like my grandmother would, I don’t fight it. I don’t get angry. I just have a moment where I laugh and appreciate that it’s not 1930’s Northern Minnesota, and ketchup is not a luxury.

And the more that I contemplate, the less I have to deal with my stories in real life.

I try to spend time contemplating every day. I contemplate in the bathtub and in bed and out on my deck. It looks like I’m doing nothing, and yet I am doing so much.

The third one is called Attunement.

Attunement is integration. It’s integration of your mind, body and spirit.

You see, the mind often acts like the big brother.  It believes that it knows best and the body and spirit just have to follow along behind it.  That’s because the mind has consciousness, and consciousness is very bossy.

Attunement is the act of letting your mind take a back seat to your body and spirit.  You are letting your brain rest. You are telling it to relax and let somebody else take charge for once.

To integrate your body mind and spirt, to attune, you do things that require your body and spirit to be engaged but don’t require a lot of thought.  They require your mind to be somewhat engaged, but not in charge.

What takes you into a state of attunement?

The list is long, my friends:

1. Tai Chi

2. Yoga

3. Knitting

4. Biking. Really, any exercise that is not completely mindless.

5.  Water-related activities (taking a bath/shower, swimming, washing dishes, sailing, etc.)

6.  Dancing

7.  Martial Arts

8. Knitting and other things you do with your hands.

9. Ice Skating, Cross-country skiing,  going to the batting cage,  the list could go on forever.

When we integrate our mind, body, and spirit, when we put big brother mind in the back seat, we can experience the wisdom in our body and spirit.

Moving our body can feel really good. It can release endorphins. It can remove toxins in our lymph nodes. It also helps us to connect to the physical plan,  which makes us feel a lot less like a spirit in a meatbag.

Energetic wisdom flows more easily when integrated with body and mind.

Remember those beliefs we talked about? The unnecessary ones? When your body, mind and spirit are one, they fade to the background.

The more you attune, the better it gets, especially when combined with presence and contemplation.

Tell me: What is your favorite way to attune?

And tomorrow- Okay, but when am I going to find time to do all this?  (Plus hopefully a cool guest post).

Each of these photos was professionally photographed by someone who thought it was a good idea.

All of these pictures were found by searching for the terms “Yoga” or “Meditation”.

The plant is whispering, “Remember to breathe”.

Yoga?  Porn?  Both?  Hey,  these people might be on to a new market.

Just imagining a photographer saying, “Look her butt looks just like a pear!”

Yeah, because when I meditate, I like to do it on top of my car.

I hope you enjoyed these as much I did.

I believe that this site should be a space for us to learn from one another. God knows, I learn a ton from my friends, students, fans, colleagues, family and strangers (is that everybody? Hope so).

Comment Gobblin’ Freak

I am a comment gobbling freak. I admit it. And I want to get to know as many people as possible and have them talk and then gobble their comments up..nom…nom…nom…

The Contest

So here’s the contest:
You can win 3 woo-woo bad ass intuitive sessions with me. You can use them all for yourself or give some away.

Here’s how you win…
1. You listen to this song and realize how awesomely shiny you are (song is at the bottom of this post).

2. You pick out a blog post and write a thoughtful comment.

3. You tell a friend about the Voila! blog and its awesomeness (either via twitter, facebook or hey, here’s a concept, In REAL LIFE).

4. You comment on this post that you’ve done those things.

Shh…The coolest thing…

Here’s the coolest thing: I am kind of an awesome secret. I’m like that Russian lady who does the really awesome Brazillian waxes that you only know about because somebody whispered her name in your ear. Just by being here right now, you are one of the cool kids in the know. yes, you. Get used to it. That’s how we roll.

So the person you tell, they need to be cool too. And by cool, I mean, you like them and they are breathing.

Odds

So, your odds of winning this contest are really good.

Not Quite a Winner?

Should we do a runner-up prize? Yeah? Okay, I’ll give away 3 runner-up prizes. Each runner-up gets a VERY limited edition Chakralicious T-shirt.

And what else? Everybody who enters this contest gets a personally written thank you from me.

Okay, get on it. You only have until the end of March.

Go.

But not on purpose.

Okay, this is just a picture of a very large mango.

How Can my Spirit Make Me Fat?

Just like your physical body and your mind, your energetic body (a.k.a spirit) is responding to the environment that you put it in.

It’s also carrying around the lessons, fears, beliefs and ancestral knowledge of this life, as well as residual lessons and stories from past lives.

All of this information shapes our physical and emotional experience, and in the interaction of our spirit, body and mind, decisions are made that can make us more healthy or less healthy.

An Example

My partner Brian and I come from families that transcended poverty. Our grandparents survived the depression by ekeing out a living at logging camps and on Minnesota farms.  They worked very hard to simply survive.

Our parents went to college, and got good jobs and were solidly part of middle class.

And, if you look at Brian and me, and his siblings and my siblings,  we all struggle to keep our weight in check.

Why is This?

I used to think that it was just our external environment causing this weight issue.  As children, we both remember being members of the “clean plate club”.

As I get older, though, I hear things coming out of my mouth that have nothing to do with my reality.

I tell my children not to be wasteful (Do you really need that much ketchup?).

I find it hard to throw away little bits of ribbon and yarn (I might need that).

I will drive across the street if gasoline is a cent cheaper (This saves me a dime, minus whatever it cost in time and gas to go across the street).

I live a very abundant life.  I don’t have to worry about dimes. I know that they will make more ketchup.

I am turning into my grandmother.

This is ancestral knowledge coming forward. This knowledge, stored in our first chakras, takes the stories of our parents and grandparents and great-grandparents and applies their logic to today.

My ancestors and your ancestors lived lives that included times of food scarcity. Being plump meant being able to survive.  So, your energetic system may integrate with your body to slow your metabolism down.

Past Lives

I’ve had many clients that struggle with their weight who have starved to death in past lives.  It’s horrible. Your spirit doesn’t want you to experience that again.

So, here, it says, have another bowl of mac and cheese.

The Body Cost of Ungroundedness

As we move more and more towards technology and further away from working with our hands, we lose touch with our body.  We get all up in our brains.

And our body and spirit crave grounded-ness.  They want us to be present. They want us to be in touch with this earth, with the physical plane.

How do you ground a body, if the brain in the body is too busy to be bothered?

You ground it with body fat.  A heavier weight literally grounds you.

The Present of Presence

When you are present in your life, when you are grounded, when your body, mind and spirit are close buddies and not penpals,  your body is healthier.

Your body can support your mind and spirit.  Your mind can support your body and spirit.  Your spirit can support your body and mind.

They work together like the best of 3-legged stools.

And then, it’s easier to pay attention and do good things to your body. It’s easier to find time to exercise.

It’s easier to enjoy your food. Mindless eating goes away.

Your metabolism bounces back.

You have more energy.

You have more focus.

You feel and look good.

Is Fat Bad?

If fat was really bad, I doubt that your spirit would use it in an attempt to ground you.  This skinny skinny model thing is just a cultural style.  Having a body that lets you do what you want is really important.

What about other physical issues?

I picked on obesity today.

Your spirit can also make you too thin.  Anxiety run amuck causes you not to eat.  A first chakra that’s given up can take away your desire for sustenance.

Your spirit can be a harbor for sickness.  Many energetic practitioners believe that disease starts in the energetic body and then moves to the physical body. Stress causes cancer.

The good news? You can do things spiritually to make your body look and feel great.

Take a Look

At your body. Think about the stories you know about your ancestors. Think about the beliefs you carry around.

Pay attention to how you feel at the dinner table. Do you purposely make A LOT of food, way more than your family will eat?  Do you make sure you get a big portion before those locusts (er…I mean, your family) dish up? Are you harboring ancient beliefs about food scarcity?

Your body may be responding to those beliefs as well.

Be mindful.

Think, “I’ll eat again.”

Enjoy every bite.

Don’t think about other things while you are eating.  Just enjoy that bite.

Don’t eat in front of the TV.

Be present with your food.

This is a good place to start.

And if you need help, consider a session from me.

Tomorrow- We’ll talk more about body-mind-spirit integration/attunement, and I’ll tell you a few more things that you can do to integrate your body and spirit.

Today, though, tell me what you think about this…

Leaming Chee- Brown is my family’s reiki practitioner. She is an amazing healer. I enjoyed working with her so much.  Spirit had so much to say.

Here,  Ming describes her intuitive guidance session with me.

So yesterday afternoon I had my first intuitive healing.  I’ve had my soul read before, this was NOTHING like it. This experience was amazing and fascinating at the same time.

I had a notebook out, I wanted to write down everything she told me she saw. Well, I got 7 pages of notes by the time we were done. I wasn’t meditating , I was just listening.

Bridget went through everyone of my chakras. My chakras talked to her! We were both laughing. At one point she said one of my chakras was “cute” .. haha… after it was healed it wanted to glisten.

We found where there was some old guilt from way way way back when that needed to be dealt with. Good! Get rid of it.

When Bridget talked to God, He told her “Ming is my healing warrior! “When I heard this, my first thought was WOW, this is what Breeze the horse told Janet Roper (an animal communicator I work with).

I told Bridget this is not the first time I have heard the word warrior. Boy, was I excited.  She said our Reiki was going to be our Reiki, our own spin.  This all so resonated with me.

So just imagine all this for all of my chakras. Each one saying something to Bridget, then me getting a divine message and then getting it all put in balance! This so rocked.

As she was working with each chakra I felt heat radiating up my back like I was getting my own Reiki session!

By the time we were done my face felt like it had a fever!

I counted, I got about 18 messages from God just for ME. Just for me and the work that I am doing spiritually and how I am here to help the planet. That’s a lot of messages.

Healers need healing too. Check her out, tell her Ming sent you.

Right now, I have shifted. I’ve caught the wave.  Reiki Fur Babies is going to be better than ever.  That is good for the fur babies we heal, that is good for the people we help.  Thank you Bridget.

A Hand

by Jane Hirschfield

A hand is not four fingers and a thumb. Nor is it palm and knuckles, not ligaments or the fat’s yellow pillow, not tendons, star of the wristbone, meander of veins. A hand is not the thick thatch of its lines with their infinite dramas, nor what it has written, not on the page, not on the ecstatic body. Nor is the hand its meadows of holding, of shaping— not sponge of rising yeast-bread, not rotor pin’s smoothness, not ink. The maple’s green hands do not cup the proliferant rain. What empties itself falls into the place that is open. A hand turned upward holds only a single, transparent question. Unanswerable, humming like bees, it rises, swarms, departs. my eyes.

(I love your hands, outer me. They are one of the best parts of our physical form. Maybe put your hands on your warm belly and think of me, your soul, stirring inside?)

The first change is that I’m raising my rates and announcing a contest.

My sessions are going from $125 to $175 a pop.  Each session takes at least 2 hours and, well, I figure I should be at least as expensive as my hairdresser.

Here’s the good news- If you book during the month of March,  I’ll honor the $125 rate.  I’ll send you back a refund of $50.

Here’s more good news- I’m going to donate 5% of my session profits to a different charity each month. For March, that charity is Bent on Learning- a non-profit that provides yoga education to kids in New York City.

And a little more good news…

I’m announcing a contest and a referral program tomorrow, each of which could get you a session for free. Gratis. Nada.

Let’s use that post to kick off a week of body love, a week of celebrating the temple, a week of understanding how to work with our bodies to move forward in our lives.

Loving that Body

I was recently at a brunch, and a skinny lady across the table from me made a disparaging joke about how fat she was.

She was feeling bad about the size of her butt, which is about half the size of mine.

Then she saw me across the table, turned red and apologized.

I asked,  Why are you telling me that you’re sorry?

This made me laugh, because she really didn’t know what to say then. I mean, she apologized to me for making a fat joke.

She apologized because I am fat.

I’m a size 18-20.  I am soft and curvy and plump.

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Hockley

I’ll take my round booty and body love over her tiny booty and body hate. It is a much better deal.

Body Frustration

I used to joke that if my body was a temple, mine was a temple of doom. I have the metabolism of a hibernating bear. My thyroid screwed me and it didn’t even kiss me. My gall bladder was (and I quote) “the biggest, ugliest sack of stones” that the surgeon had ever seen.

My body does not look perfect. My body does not act perfect.

Certainly, by every standard I’m shown on TV and in print, my body is a before picture.

But…my body is pretty freaking awesome, and although I’m late to the loving party, it’s so much easier to love it than to hate it.

How did I learn to love my body?

The only way to love something, truly, is to know it.

Appreciate the View

On every body, there is something to appreciate. I started with something I liked. I started with my cute nose. Right now, take a look in the mirror and find a piece of you that you like.  Perhaps it’s the color of your eyes,  or the shape of your front teeth. Find it. Say out loud, “I like my ____________”.

Start there. And each day, see what it is you can appreciate today on that body of yours.

Appreciate the Experience

Then think about something you get to experience through your body, something you enjoy. The warmth of a bath, the taste of a mango, (even the ecstasy of an orgasm, Mmmraow! ): all of these are only available to us via these imperfect temples.

When you are in a moment of really enjoying something, it can be good to take a breath and think  “I am loving this because of my body.”

Love it Back

Love your body back.

Start by stopping  your critical eye.

I lived with only a hand mirror for six months. That’s a great, albeit drastic, way to stop the criticism.

You can also put a sticky note on your mirror that says, “If I wouldn’t say it to a friend, I won’t say it to my body.” You’d never tell your friend that the skin hangs off her knees like bread dough. Why would you say that to your body?

Why tear yourself down?  It hasn’t helped you this far, has it?

Then, also, do stuff for your body. Find something that you can do today to help your body feel better. Get a massage. Get acupuncture. Get thee to the gym.

Repeat

These three acts, performed over and over again, will change how you see your body.

Don’t Wait

Don’t wait until you’re skinny to buy the pretty clothes. Do it now.

Don’t wait until you’ve reached some level of body perfection to appreciate it.

Because waiting means putting off enjoyment. And whatever you’re doing, you should be enjoying yourself.

I LOVE MY BODY.

I love my body.

I am not the fastest.

I am not the prettiest.

I have a ways to go before I will be the healthy one racing through the water at my gym’s pool.

But my body lets me be here.

It lets me hug my kids.

It lets me feel the sun on my skin.

How awesome is that?

What I’ve Noticed

Since I’ve started to love my body, people have started to touch me more. People have told me that they think I’m beautiful. Me.

Overweight, over-40 me.

Through loving and enjoying my body, I’m getting a better body!

I am making better decisions about what I eat. I am swimming and going to my gym with frequency.  I’m sleeping deeply and well.

More than anything, I’m happier. I am happier at a size 18 than I was as a size 6.

Your body is valuable. Your body is beautiful. Your body is functional.

Your Body

Try to love it. Try to really know it and love it. You will feel so much better.

Next: Is my Spirit making me fat?  (…Or, how energy impacts the body…)